Is it time to start piecing?

[Hope4us]

Why thanks for the compliment WDID.

GIMA,

TIME and PATIENCE. My current thread is in Piecing, but I've got a number of them in Infidelity. If you have time, go back and read some of them.

In a nutshell, my W had an A for about 6 months and then after I discovered it, she continued the A for another 3 months. Was planning on D'ing me and marrying OM after our youngest son was out of H.S. (same for OM's son).

The physical A ended when I exposed to OMW, but the EA continued. OM had moved a couple hundred miles away and immediately found a new GF, but W was still convinced their plan was in place. I caught her trying to arrange meets 3 or 4 times after I told OMW about it and when I discovered the last one, I told my kids what was going on and that I was going to file for divorce.

My youngest son shredded his mother, told her he'd never talk to her again if she got together with OM, etc. At this point it was all in her mind. OMW was filing for divorce as OM had at least 4 A's that she knew about and he'd moved on to the next GF, but my W just didn't get that he was using her.

So....A year ago last April, the A ended for good. I still feel there may be some contact between them, but it's been a long fight.

It took my W probably 2 months before she'd even talk to me (after I told the kids). At about the 4 month mark she started warming up some. At 5 months I broke the golden rule and had an R talk with her and she still didn't know whether she wanted to try or not. At 7 months we finally ML for the first time in almost a year and a half, but I think that scared the he!! out of her because there was a retreat. Christmas last year was good and we seemed like we were starting to connect some. Sometime around the middle of January we started to connect even more.

Just in the last couple months we've really begun to connect. W still hasn't said ILY and still doesn't wear her wedding rings, but she's talking about and making plans for our future, we ML on a semi regular basis (the last month or so it's been a weekly occurrence).


I haven't read your thread. I will when I get some time. But I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. If you W was involved with someone and it was a romantic type A, you're in for a long haul, and it's not for the faint of heart. I'll be the first to admit (and you can read my threads and see it yourself) that since I found out what was going on, I've been ready to quit many times. But something always gives me encouragement and I hang on a little longer.

We've still got a long way to go, but I feel now that if we don't make it, it will be because I'm not getting what I need, not anything my W is doing.

Hope this helps.