Positive developments? #2

[jon2911]

Last Resort Techique

Here's a quick summary of LRT from DR, for a friend who called me tonight. I feel like I'm here again, so very good for me to remember as well!

1. Stop the Chase
Pursuing behaviors to stop:
- frequent phone calls
- begging your spouse to reconsider
- pointing out all the good in your marriage
- writing letters
- following your mate around the house
- encouraging talk about the future
- soliciting help from family members
- asking for reassurances
- buying gifts/flowers
- trying to schedule dates together
- spying on your spouse

Also, stop saying "I love you". Every time you do, you remind your spouse that the feelings of love aren't reciprocal at the moment

2. Get a Life
You are going through one of the most painful things you will ever experience, but the end result is that you are desperate and unattractive. You are competing with your spouse's fantasy of an ideal life without problems.

- Remember the reasons your spouse fell in love with you in the first place.
- Make immediate changes, become upbeat in your partner's presence, appear pleased with yourself and your own life
- on the phone, sound content, even bubbly
- start a new hobby
- go do things with friends
- keep yourself busy
- start being less predictable

3. Wait and watch
- pull back, wait to see if you spouse notices and realizes what she has been missing