My wife dropped the bomb on me in May of 09. Not sure if there is an affair or not at this point. I want to believe that 98% there wasn't one. There was at least an emotional affair. Wife said ILYBNILWU. Says I have controlled her our whole marriage. I am willing to do everything I can to save the marriage. I too have tried the all or nothings without success. The one thing I could not tollerate is if I new 100% that she was with another man and not remorseful about what she has done. When the day is done, it is about respect for you, respect for your vows, respect for family(not sure if you have kids). My wife has detached and I am trying to do that so I quite writing letters and trying to reason with her about destroying our family, me, marriage, etc.. I guess what I am trying to say is if he cheated and he is not remorseful, you must go. As a guy, he has an ugly soul if he would do that to you. I just don't understand how one person can hurt another person and have it not bother them. Good luck with the boundary setting. I know I haven't helped much. But you are a good person and you deserve respect.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
