It is all control ladies...complete control. My WAW does it also but in a different manner. Either way, it is holding onto the security you provide them without the commitment. You have to ask yourself "Am I worth more than this?". I really just came to this conclusion completely about three hours ago actually in my situation.
Example of how that came about: Great day with the kids (I am on the fast track towards being the full time parent for them)...went for a long ride, lunch, and ended up at the movies. My children were psyched, my son cried during the movie, and it was so sweet. But two things happened during the day that made me think "was it worth it too save my marriage?": My daughter looked at me and asked "Do you still love mommy? I love the two of you together!"...and later my son asked "why doesn't mommy do stuff with us anymore?" The truth is that they deserve more...I deserve more...you deserve more! At some point we all need to say enough is enough. After a certain amount of time the WAS has two options...be part of the marriage or take the highway. There really is no in between. This garbage about dating after the divorce is just manipulative behavior to control you. Set your boundaries and hold to them...open your eyes to the truth. YOU ARE WORTH MORE!
Trix-You are absolutely right in your assumptions about husband knowing how you feel. My wife knows that I won't see anybody else. So she controls me through that. The one time I went out with a female friend (yes friend...nothing more and my wife knew it)...she was on the phone in minutes to her mother complaining how I was wasting money (which I don't do) yet she blows $350-$500 a month on her partying. They want there security blanket on their terms....like Puppy would say...time to stand up and make your own terms.
