The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

Exposure, lawyer, what happened to your investigation? Can you W come and go as she pleases at your house? What are the guidelines for your daughter? How is she treating her? Has she mentioned her affair partner to your D any more? Does your D spend the night at her apartment? If so is the OM stuff still there...or is it your SS shaving kit, etc

I thought she had ended it. She was being more friendly, visiting more often(calling first though), saying all the right things--yep, she fooled me again. She cannot come and go as she pleases at my house--she does not have a key--funny thing you should say that, she came over the other day and we weren't home and she got all pissed off cause she couldn't get ahold of us because she had my cell phone. My D has not and is not spending the night at my wife's apartment. My wife mentioned something to her and she told her mom she wasn't interested. As far as the way she is treating her, well, that hasn't changed that much either.

How is your money going? Do you owe more on the house than it is worth and do you plan to stay where you are at when you retire? What happened to your SS moving into the apartment?

Money is good, no problems there. I don't owe more on the house than it's worth but, no one is buying here, so I'll probably have to rent it out in the event I do get orders. I do not plan to retire here--ever! The wife had a big blowup w/ SS and she told him he's not welcome in the apartment--I can't say I blame her on this one--he refuses to get a job and earn his keep. He even called me and asked if he could live w/ me. I said, to do what? He said, I don't know. I said that doesn't sound like a great plan. I don't think that will work out.

I ask to get a better understanding on your overall situation. My first thought is you should take Hawaii, use the relief program (great deal!) to cover your house payment, bank the COLA, and what a great opportunity to expose your D to another llife style. Hawaii is an incredible assignment. If you are being offered a job at PACAF then you will probably get senior and chief. Think about it...a big raise for your retirement check and the care of your daughter.

If they offer Hawaii, I will take it! That would be a dream assignment--of course I'll take it--duh!! I cannot use the relief program I found out as we took equity out of the house.

Will your daughter want to go with you? I wish you had done something legally before this opportunity...

Yes, she will want to go with me. I think she complains more than I do about the wife's demeanor. I think the reason I haven't done something legally yet is that I know that once I start that ball rolling, it's over. I don't half-step in those matters and I won't stop as the wife has.

Do not give up your ability to provide for yourself and your D to please your W. I have know many people who regret for the rest of their life on getting out or retiring before they wanted to for the spouse. And later divorce anyway...then you have no wife and no job.

Not going to retire just yet. Only way I'll retire is if I can land a job making what I'm making right now in an area I want to be in. I've seen what you're talking about as well and no, I will not put myself into that situation.

You are letting her "normalize" this affair with your D. Talking on the phone, going shopping for a dress for the wedding, lunch, in and out of the house. Not a great example...nor any incentive for her to end this. What happened to the Army?

I'm not letting her normalize anything. I truly thought it was over by the behavior she was exhibiting. She is still trying to go into the Army--don't know if she'll get in or not--I think if she does, she'll have a hard time w/ the PT--it's rough, I looked it up. We'll see.

Remember, every single thing your W tells you is tainted in an attempt to cover her affair...in other words...she is a liar about everything. Everything is an attempt to make her A okay in her mind...and she will if allowed to continue like she has. I am embarassed to know that a SNCO is acting the way with an officer...I guarantee you that it is known by many people and not one has done anything about it.

I told my wife yesterday that if she's not home, I will assume she's w/ OM and that it's not acceptable. I agree about you saying every thing is an attempt to make the A ok in her mind though--she justifies it every day somehow I'm sure.

Sorry for the ramble

You have nothing to be sorry for--it is almost over. One way or the other, I'll be ok. Thanks...