Mindblank #5 - Livin' La Vida Limboland...

[mindfull]

Steve...

I don't know anything about your wife, so it's hard to gauge how legit the D14's (?) complaints are...

I can just conclude that if you're here, the W must not be happy, and you're willing to work on things to make it work.

I would call myself a bloodied and bruised, but still surviving Mom of a teenage daughter. In all due respect, THEY ARE A PAIN IN THE REAR!!! ESPECIALLY, to their Mom's, and ESPECIALLY if they are anything LIKE their Mom's! (This is not just experience from my own D, but from being close friends with a lot of her friend's parents, as well.)

If D14 has legit complaints... then I'd do what you said you are trying to do; tell her Mom's going through something right now. I know you don't understand it, and quite frankly, neither do I. I'm doing everything I can to make home a more comfortable and inviting place for her to be. We can't make her get through this any quicker than she will on her own. In the meantime, I think I'd try to think of a way to minimize their time together, and tell D14 that she's going to need to help you by being respectful, getting her "stuff" done timely and correctly, etc...

I guess another idea would be to have her keep a journal of the stuff that's really bothering her about she and her mom's interactions for a week. Then, you can determine the seriousness of it. I think she'd respect you for listening to her, considering her opinion, but not making haste decisions. And, you'll see just how much of this is Mom/Daughter silly stuff, vs. real angst from your W re: her "situation."

With that said, TEEN GIRLS are full of drama, laziness, conceit, and the world revolves around their social schedule. They probably have the least amount of respect for the Mom's, especially if they are close to them. And, the Mom's are usually the one's that dole out most of the punishments, so they are looked at as the evil ones often.

Does that help?