Damn GIMA, this is great advice! I had been trying to compliment her occasionally, but doing it in the 'H' way you stated. I need to move exactly to what your talking about.
I can't take credit for that one. Sandi gave me that tip.
OK, you did great, right up to this:
Quote:
I say I'd love to give you a hug if you would like, but she quite forcefully said, no, I don't need a hug. Not sure if I should have asked or not..
But, I think you know that. If she wants that, SHE will initiate it. I haven't hugged my W since the bomb. The only contact we have had is the occasional hand holding when we say the blessing at meals (hard to let go) or the accidental bump passing in the hallway. SHE needs to be the one to do this. I know it's hard. Just keep thinking what your goal is, and it gets easier.
I am not scolding you. 90% of what you did was perfect. Remember the perfect and learn from the minor mis-step.
Just give her space and time, and when she engages you, give her your attention and a listening ear. I cannot recall if you have read The Five Love Languages. If not, get it and read it. It really opened my eyes about how to show my W love and how to see when she was/is trying to show it to me.
And strength and honor is a great mantra. I repeat it all the time. That one came from Coach.
Slow, steady progress is what you want. Keep it up.
