H to Marry OW

[Andabelle]

I think OW must be very threatened by the fact that you and your X are still working together-- probably one reason for the big rush. I bet she is pushing M on him.

Take care of yourself, Peace. You are kindness itself; your X is an idiot.

[peacetoday]

Thanks for your uspport everyone

I asked X about M
He said yes..this saturday
the girl is 28 with 11 year old son
sone lives in another state with her parents( i think)
I dont know if anyone is coming to their wedding
I cant imagine his family coming from another state and not seeing the kids
MY kids still dont know
I told XH to tell the kids after the wedding ASAP
they can meet her if xh wants
I will not make them wait till december
I have to let it all go
the kids need to see and know who thie father is
they are smart and secure
they will be OK..I am letting go
life is too short

MY XH appears to be anything BUT happy like a new groom
he is confused, makes constant mistakes at office
he is angry at both me and my brother
every vechicle we have has broke down in our office in 2 mionths
including his car( accident)
a forklift
2 trucks
mostly all b/c of him
he remains in heavy debt
she is M a man in debt of 50,000 plus
MY brother thinks her family may have some money
MY brother thinks XH sees this a s some kind of soultion
I dont know anymore
I am hurt and sad
I am also dating same man.I like him .but this news has affected me and Ive been absorbed with it
I think I am shocked
peace

[glamgirl]

Peace so sorry. I would be shocked too. I am sure your h sees this as a solution. His life is bad why not make it worse.

Nothing you can do Peace to stop the train wreck from happening. Just be at peace with your life and the situation and then step back and watch the show, it will be a good one.

Hugs!

[cagzmom]

Peace,

It is like I posted today on my thread. It is like we are FORCED to move ahead. FORCED to. We HAVE to get up, go to bed, you know the "ground hog day affect" and we do because well what are you goign to do?

My stitch is a little shorter then yours..about a year out. And I am realizing that letting go isn't really an option. What are we holding on to? The hurt? the pain? I just don't know.

I am sorry for you. I can NOT even imagine what this must be like for you. Hold your head high with the DIGNITY that is within you. Rise above this garbage!!

You are FREE of the "old" and are open to the NEW. NONE of us really know what our future holds. X's come back after years... some stay away for years... Who knows..

Dignity - grace - you can do this.

[still hoping]

Peace,

Just catching up on your thread after being away for a few weeks. Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear about your H's terrible decision to marry ow. I'm sorry for your children, too.
You know your H best. If he doesn't look happy, he probably isn't. He definitely doesn't sound like someone who is happy and content with his decision.
This is your H's mistake to make. There is nothing that you can do. As for the kids, you don't need to force the issue of them meeting her and knowing who your H is. Like everything else, they'll eventually find out the truth. Do you really want to force this girl into their lives as a stepmother?
Hang in there and detach. This isn't about you. Your H is still a mess.

[peacetoday]

thanks guys
Today is the day
It will be weird to see my xh wearing a new wedding band
not that that really means anything to this happy couple as he wore his original band while sleeping with OW
it will be sad to know he picked ow over his wife and children
sh
Im not going to force the issue
but I need to create peace with my xh
I will not interfere if he wants to have kids at his apartment
as long as they are safe..I have to move on but we still work together and for the sake of our business and kids I need to let go
my XH reacts to the way I treat him
and If im too confrontive or real, he does things to hurt the business or kids
he is very sick
so I have to keep everything stable steady
little contact..but any contact needs to be non confrontive and positive
I will give very little emotional support to him
he will have to get it all fron ow


when I asked XH why di he feel the need to get M again?
he said none of your business?
peace

[glamgirl]

So sorry Peace. I am sure this is a very difficult day for you. You are right though, you just need to move on. It is sad he had to rush into a M with ow. I am sure it isn't out of true love or he would be so happy.

It's more about his mind state and where he is in life at the moment. She sounds like a real winner.

Just be h's friend. What else could you be right now. He will see his destructive ways some day, if he doesn't seem them already.

Once the honeymoon phase is over, reality sets in and we all know what that picture looks like.

Stay strong today. Hugs!

[dl443322]

Peace, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today.

This must be so hard for you. I am sorry.
Remember what a special lady you are.
This is a train wreck waiting to happen.
But, your h has not reached bottom yet.
All you could do is worry about you and your kids.
His journey. You continue on yours.
Better days are ahead for you.

((hugs))

[cagzmom]

Hi peace- i have been "looking" for you today.

you are right- it will be hard to see the "ring" on the hand. But here is something to hold on to.

YOU WERE THE FIRST and you ALWAYs and i mean ALWAYS will be. Listen to all these:
First to have his child'
First to have actually been married to him
First home was with you
First "new" start was with you

She will NEVER be the first nor will she experience teh FIRST with him. My x's bimbo HATED that!! He told me that once after they had a falling out. It drove her nuts that he had been married before - that he had bought a "first" house .. see she will NEVER be able to be "THE FIRST."

You are right about letting go.
You are doing great.... watch out for you.. dont worry about his happiness or unhappiness ...ITS ABOUT YOU!

[mdoodles]

cagzmom is so right!!!!!! what great advice, what a great way to think about things...its helping me as well so thank you!

peace, thinking of u today, i know it is a hard day but u are receiving terrific advice, keep rereading it to make yourself feel better.

i bet the marriage doesnt last