I understand what you're saying about my family. I'm not saying its their fault at all that I don't drive and I know its not their responsibility to sit at home and ask me to go anywhere with them. Yes, I am a grown woman, but I'm also a grown women with depression and who just lost her H. I think there should be some sympathy there, some attempt to cheer up my mood. Thats what you do when someone is down. You try and help them. Now I know thats not true for everyone, but for me, if any of my family members were in the same position as me, I would never treat them the way they are treating me. I wouldn't not talk to them, I wouldn't not ask them to go places, I would help them. Because to me, when someone you love needs help and you know they are suffering, you offer them the help they need. I understand what you're saying, but I have to disagree with some of it. I mean, I have had suicidal thoughts the past few days, they know that. But because of the emotional state I'm in, I close up and don't ask them for help. And also, if I ask them for help, the only thing they'll say is, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU and just tell me to get over it like they usually do and walk away. I would never turn my back on someone in that emotional state and I feel like the only people who have truly been there for me are my friends. I am sick, I'm not well, my depression is severe, I am sometimes suicidal .. If the positions were reversed and it was someone I loved that felt that way, I would know that it hard for them to ask for help and I'd do what I could to make them feel just a bit better.
I know youre only saying this to help me, but I don't think you understand the severity of the situation with my family and what they are like, and thats in no way your fault at all, I'm just not explaining it too well. Or maybe thats just how you feel anyway despite what my family is like.
As far as H and the weight gain, we were hapy in the beginning. We both started to feel comfortable with each other and I started to gain little by little and he did too but it just got worse later on when I found out he cheated, thats when the weight skyrocketed.
BP,
It might simply be that your family is not capable of giving you the emotional support you need. I know that to you it comes across as mean and uncaring, but maybe it's the best they can do.
Not everyone has the same capability for sympathy, compassion, empathy, etc. If your family dynamics are as screwed up as you say they are -- maybe you need to simply accept them. No more judging, blaming, etc. Just accept who they are and don't take their treatment personall -- not easy, but it might help. Detaching from them will help, just like detaching from your H will help.
