A very wise man(who also has a way with words) compared this to feeding a wild animal. My new mantra has become she's a f-ing crazy @ss squirrel.(I mean that in the most sweet sincere way too)
I have to be patient. I have to let her come to me when she feels like it. I can't make any loud noises or sudden movements.
I need to be a magnet and draw her in by being myself and showing her my changes are for real. Still much like being the rock solid island with the lighthouse on it in the middle of the storm.
That in and of itself is difficult, but when she tosses out things like. "we are going to be alright trapt." "You gotta have faith." It makes it so damn hard.
What does she mean by that? Well it's not important right now. Flirting and saying suggestive things like that is a carrot on a stick or a nicely baited sharp hook. Been there, done that. If I haven't learned that lesson by now.....well shame on me.
I guess the hardest part to all of this was that I had my mind made up that this was done. Don't get me wrong, I still had faith but I had accepted everything was over and was moving ahead quite nicely. With pretty much no contact for a few months.
Then boom! From out of nowhere her she is. I guess that wouldn't be so bad, but to hear that she is going to church, counseling, and to see and hear of all these changes makes this different from just the normal touch and go BS that I have seen for so long.
I am leary, this just seems like a ton of contact all at once. No matter how I look at things, there is only one option and I HAVE to stick with it.
Trapt..be careful. I have seen this before....a period of nice before something bad. Sometimes, when a big change is coming, they begin to act very nice. Not being a party pooper...just chiming in with everyone else here...BE CAREFUL with your emotions. I requote a really negative quote with much importance on this forum:
Quote:
G-d bless those who expect nothing for they will never be disappointed.
Continue the positive interactions that you are having with her because they are exactly that: POSITIVE interactions. Beats anger and vindictiveness any day. Leave your heart out of it for now. JMO.
BTW....I have 'seniority' here on you and I WISH I was doing as well as you are. Hang tough. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I have learned to assume nothing. I have no idea what's going on in her world. The only option I have is to keep living, let her come to me if/when she does.
I need to continue to work hard on me. I have come to far to let the growth and changes I have made slip away. That's the only control I have, to be the best man and father I can be.
Day by day. God willing something more will come of this. If not I will still be proud of who I am and what I stood for.
