H came at 14:00 today, said he is working today and tomorrow and asked if we wanted to go out for a while since he needs to leave early. What to do in Greece with 40 celcious, noon time, on a Sat...? Anyway, he sucks big time. He doesnt listen, he doesnt see what this is doing to me, pushing me away with light speed. I dread the common vacation scenario. I think he sees it as a chance "to calm me down and quiet my bitchy side=needs" because THEN he will have time. This is much bigger that a week away though...
Ohhh, my kids will be again devastated once we finally move to separate lives mode. Whatever, will cross that bridge then I suppose... K
Sounds like the decision is made and he does not have a snow ball's chance in Athens to change that. Can't say that I blame you. I sound like a broken record but the man you describe does not act like a WAS who wants his wife back and is ready to prove it to her. That was my editorial comment for the day. It seems like you do not enjoy his company on the weekends, so enjoy the weekend with your kids!!! On the kids front, (if and when you need to cross that bridge) if they see you guys "getting along" they will be ok...if they see you both happy that will help to heal the hurt that inevitably all kids feel in these situations.....but we are getting ahead of ourselves.
I agree with John- it does sound like the decision is made, which IMHO is a good thing- this situation could continue forever with you being unhappy and him being.... whatever he is being (un-understandable!).
Your kids are smart and emotionally well-adjusted. It'll be hard for them to hear that you will be living deparate lives, but they've seen how much effort you've put into making this work which is good for their future view of relationships. And it's definitely in their interests to have a happy mother. You're so strong I'm sure you and H can co-parent effectively and with friendliness.
Thinking of you,
L. xx
PS How is your Dad? I was thinking about him yesterday.
kalni...I have been out of the loop for awhile. Are you going to file? I thought I saw a post here saying that. I have to catch up. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, no worries about being out of the loop. Not possible in my case anyway. I am like a soap opera, 3.985 episodes later..., the actors still sit in the same living room...
I have set a dedaline to ME for August 25. After that, if he gives me no reason to stay, I will go ahead. Unfortunately, it will take another year to be divorced. Even if we agree on everything which I think will be the case... K
"I have set a dedaline to ME for August 25. After that, if he gives me no reason to stay, I will go ahead."
Speaking of soap operas.....I could swear I asked you this before. The location of the vaca may have changed as has the date but; give me/us an example of what he needs to do for you to NOT go ahead.
John, I would tell you if I werent sooooo tired and demotivated right now. Talking about my sitch and H has become pretty old. Just like BBJ, I am just another Johnny...
I wonder, could this relationship be saved if H did everything he could? I doubt even that now. Too much time has gone by and new resentments have replace the old ones... (I still want to kick his a$$ though) K
It's a pretty hypothetical question since everything he could is a far cry from what he's been doing.
I don't think he's really going to realize what he needs to do until he's lost you. I really think it'll take that before he really does get around to quitting a job and making some changes.
(((Maria)))
On a nicer note, I like the new pics of your stuff you posted. Glad to see you are doing something you enjoy and making some money at it!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
