just out of curiousity, how long has your divorce been in the works? mine may just be starting in ny...
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I filed for D on Dec 12th...I submitted the complaint in February. It is going on a year and a half. The major reason for the time was that my practice had to have a financial appraisal and that took nearly 8 months.
Mdoodles....I think after..3 exits by your H..it is probably time....no? Are you upstate? FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
no, on long island...he actually filed last may but we never proceeded...right now im not interested in my marital status, he blew through all of our money and has so much debt in his name, i prefer to just receive child support and freeze our 401k than battle out a divorce i never wanted and pay the retainer and possibly get stuck with some of his credit card debt.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
... Truly...you really must take a hard look at yourself for remaining with someone who cheats and tells you they don't love you anymore....
I have come to this same conclusion myself, FIB......
One thought came to my mind as I read the recent postings of your sitch..... regarding the idea that your W has a large amount of fear surrounding the fact that you have the all the power because you are a surgeon and she is a lowly hairdresser...... My H makes a six figure salary in addition to his military retirement, and we live in a no fault state (which means little or no alimony because I am actually employed H gets a bunch of the assets including the new dream house we just finished building basically free and clear because he "can afford it" and because of the depressed market there is no current equity in it, so he doesn't even have to "buy me out"!!!!). So I can really identify with that fear your W may be feeling (even though I am the LBS and she is a WAS....a big difference in my veiw).
Anyway, the thought that came to my mind was maybe in a weird way, your W's determination to "walk away" in spite of that could actually be viewed as some minimal "character" on her part...... maybe not, considering the BS with CPS and all that ....... but just a thought I had.......and maybe it can help you see a little of what the C may have been getting at.
I really think you are doing great, FIB!! Hang in there!!!!!
((((((HUGS))))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Thanks for the posts. There is no doubt..that..?in some way?..it took courage for a 'lowly hairdresser' to up and cheat on/walk away from a 'prestigious' yada yada yada. I guess.
The bottom line is that we are all entitled to pursue what we believe will make us happy. STBXW is very good at pinning on this. Almost all her documents state, "he filed", "he is driving this", etc...almost in a way to imply that if I didn't, we had a chance.
Well, we didn't. Not when you can't stop meeting men and meeting them in clandestine ways and places.
Our next court hearing is next week, 8/10, and I fully expect that my time has run out and the judge will throw me out of my home.
On a sadder note, our rescued greyhound....with us for 10 years....was put to sleep on Saturday. The kids had a rough time of it on Sunday night. STBXW was working. He went to sleep in my arms. I doubt she really cares except for the fact that she doesn't have to care for him anymore...or clean. She DID send two texts expressing regret. BS.
Preparing for the beginning of the end next week.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, so sorry to hear the news on your dog. If it does come to you being thrown out of your home then be grateful that your dear dog is now at Rainbow Bridge. Don't doubt though that W actually did feel some emotion/concern about it. Even my H cried at the thought of our companions end of life.
Lowly haidresser? Have you ever had HER business audited? how does she report her cash tips?
Of course she is angry, she has consequences for her actions. Remember how rotten she was at mothering? then the threat of the kids being taken away and she mothered up to being Super Mom! too bad the D paper didn't have the same wake up effect for her to change.
Mostly FIB, please don't get cold and bitter even though you have all the rights. Keep your heart warm and loving while you negotiate the best business deal for your family during the D process. (((FIB)))
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Steve....I'll counter. I spoke with my L the other and now she says that it may not happen. There is no violence in the home, etc. She is predicting that on Monday, I will not be thrown out and that the judge will simply set a trial date. In NY, my L says that the date is usually not earlier than 3 months. In that time, we should be able to come up with a settlement. Neither L's...at least at the moment...want to go to trial. She basically told me to just show up on Monday. For the last 1 1/2 years, outside of meeting the first judge, I sit in the hallway either reading or doing a crossword puzzle.
Things are quiet. STBXW is busy studying and seems carefree. L thinks she has a BF. If having a BF means no screaming...public scenes, etc...then it's fine by me.
As for Sammy...TOTALLY AGREE WCW. His passing was a blessing. I couldn't take him into an apartment (assuming that will be my new home in the near future)...and...if I left him behind, he would be locked outside all day in extremes of heat and cold, never walked and never fed regularly.
I will soon be a divorced father of two and lost the home I built 10 years ago. I'm banking on the words of KerryK, Bworl and frank_d. You all know what that means.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
