A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Thanks, Fallgirl!

I'm back to the gritting-my-teeth-and-sinking-my-nails-into-my-palms grind today tho. After the insurance note from him, I mentioned that if I got the job with the school system, I'd have very good ins that could cover all of us. He wrote back saying thanks, but he wanted to be responsible for his own ins. and he wanted complete financial separation. My response was simply "Re: finances - I understand."

I am sitting on my hands to keep from pursuing. After the weekend, I am feeling incredibly *amorous* and dying to send him a sweetly naughty message in a thank you note for letting me visit.

But I can't.

Must.

Be.

Patient.

And among other setbacks, the Retro weekend on our anniv. is full. There's one 3 weeks after that, tho.

[mac-ct]

Thanks for the hugs and prayers Mac. I'll take all of those that I can get.

Oh, and H emailed me at 3:17 this afternoon, though it was just a note about health insurance.

Dia, you take these small things and you hold them close to your heart.

I wish I'd get SOMETHING back from the black hole. I have faith that it'll happen.

Don't be disparaged about this that SHOULD have happened. As you say - patience. It's the hardest thing to learn.

Look for the signs. They ARE there. Have faith.

HUGE hugs sweetheart.

You are in my prayers.

Mac

[Dia]

Thanks, Mac,

I suppose on the bright side - he has not mentioned moving forward with the D.

Sigh.

Am on hold with my bank re: my car loan. Have I mentioned how much I hate administrivia?

[mac-ct]

Ha! Pen pushers and bean counters.

We all know what they will inherit

You hold on there dia

Mac

[Coach]

After the weekend, I am feeling incredibly *amorous* and dying to send him a sweetly naughty message in a thank you note for letting me visit.

DON'T DO IT!!!!

Once I took my cell phone apart and hide the pieces around the house so I couldn't use it impulsively. It worked.


Cheers

[Dia]

LOL!! I am holding steadfast. But I reserve the right to throw a private temper tantrum about it!

[Dia]

It's not a huge R email, just about health ins. stuff but the tone is so different from "Mr. I'm getting my own insurance and I want complete financial separation."
----------------

Hey Dia,

I'm thinking of going with the Lumenos HSA-compatible plan ($3,000 deductible) for you and me, and SmartSense ($1,500 deductible) for Nick. I have only skimmed the documents so far, and plan on looking into them more before making my decision.

I wanted to forward the documents to you, though, to see if you saw any glaring concerns. My perception is that, out of the three of us, you get the most use out of medical insurance.

Regarding dental: have you been getting checkups? I highly recommend it. If finding delta-takers in the desert has been tough, then maybe you could start when you get to the SB area.

--H
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I was thinking "I'll look these over, thank you."

FYI, I'm not the one who uses the medical ins. most and yes, I am having trouble finding someone who takes our dental down here.

So... why is he all of a sudden worried about my dental health? And keeping me on his ins. (for which I am grateful) doesn't jive with 'complete financial separation'?

???

I have errand to run, so I will be out for a few hours. I'm not responding to this email right away. He can wait a bit.

[Dia]

Down day. I miss him, and I miss my son.

I kept busy, filling my morning with job stuff and a little time here on the boards, then did more moving prep., banking, errands, house hunting, etc.

I was out last night, so tonight I plan to stay home, cook myself a nice meal, watch a dvd and read the DR and DB books.

[Dia]

Ugh. I am posting here instead of calling or emailing H. I miss him bad right now. I can only hope that he's missing me as well. What I want to to is call him and talk until the wee hours like we did when we were courting. Email him and tell him I love, miss him, can't wait to see him again.

Alas, you folks will have to put up with my drivel instead.

HAs anyone seen Finding Nemo? Did anyone else laugh at the AA parody with the sharks? I sort of feel like that scene.

"Hi, my name is Dia and I'm a pursuer."

"Hi, Dia."

"It's been 24 hours since my last pursuit. Where's my friggen' chip?"

Maybe we could all meet at Denny's and call ourselves Friends of Michele?

Dinner, btw, was roasted pork chops and veggies, then a plum and a handful of trail mix for dessert. Then I tried to watch HGTV, one of my girly faves but the shows were all a bunch of newlyweds buying houses and I couldn't even look at them.

The strange weightloss continues. I have little appetite, and what appetite I have is all for supremely healthy things like yogurt, strawberries, chicken and salad. My jeans are falling off me - even H noticed and commented on it. I'm going to need new knickers as well.

Ok, pursuing crisis averted for now. I'm going back to my books.

Behave, you lot.

[bluerain]

Hi Dia. I just finished catching up on your sitch. I lost about 30 lbs when H started his shennanigans. Wish I could have kept it off! It was one of the silver linings! If the life shortening stress wasnt the cause I would have been all for it!

It sounds like you are doing well. I was glad to see that your H included you in his health ins plan. I wonder if maybe the thought of you taking care of him as far as that goes was just too much. Maybe it wasnt ALL about him wanting to be independant.

I do understand his statement though. While I want to stay M, and work things out with H, its very important to me to be well positioned so Im not floundering if he pulls the rug out from under me, so becoming financially independant, having my own car ins, health ins, etc. are all goals for me.

I got the DVD "Coraline" today, Im going to watch that, as far as dinner goes, I have no idea, nothing sounds good! Weekends are hard for me, I dont have to work and I have too much time on my hands, its when I miss H the most. Hopefully I can go fishing tomorrow! I got the book "Hope for the Separated" recently, its a christian based book, and Im not that religious, but Im hoping that it will have some good info, Lord know I need all the hope I can get right now!

I hope that you enjoy the rest of your night!