Wife Left Me...Now What?

[BigJohn]

Voninva,

I'm possibly a step away or two from where your at right now with your W. I hope my sitch doesn't go that far and my W and I can recover, but who knows?

I know where you are coming from with the self reflection. We have all been there. What is done is done, you can't go back and change things. All you can do is to take accountability for your 50% of the R ("relationship") with your W ("wife"), identify those factors which contributed to the breakdown and work to correct them. Make yourself a better man than you were before. That's your end game- it's about you first, then anything positive that results from those changes- like reconciliation with your W.... or a new R with another woman. (I know, I can't imagine a R with another woman myself right now either.) You also need to be strong for your kids. Spend as much time with them as you can.

Another thing you will hear about from others on this forum is the idea of detachment. There are books that cover detachment much better than I could in this post. One book title that keeps coming up on the forums is "Codependent No More"- check it out on Amazon. The detachment is something that I am currently working on myself. I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm getting close and I'm starting to see the value in it. Check it out.

Get to work on addressing the anxiety, that is no good for you for sure. Start getting out to the gym to work that stuff off. At the very least, start going out for walks around the block or go for bike rides. Whatever you do, get that anxiety out of your system.

You can do this.