OK..I'll keep it going. My wife has been gone for a month now. She really will not even talk to me unless she has to. This is such a big change from the first week or so. I have good moments mixed in with a ton of I'm bored, lonely, feeling sorry for myself moments. It seems like the first half hour of the day is worst. I wake up with a ton of anxiety and a feeling like my chest is going to explode. I suspect that I spend all night dreaming about her, and I know I miss having someone to hold and hold me at night. I have now got my dog trained to sleep in bed with me and she will actually put her head or paw on my hand. Don't know if she means to or not, but it actually comforts me (oh how sad...I'm now being comforted by a dog).
It is now the start of the weekend. This was always our time. Now I have the next two days of being alone and worrying about who she is spending her time with. So not fair that she gets to crush me and have a new relationship (coupled with the freedom she is so fired up about) to boot.
I sometimes feel like I will never be able to get over her and this pain. I want so much to go back in time and do things over, but it appears she is not going to give me my do-over. Why did I miss the signs that she was moving away from me and falling for another person or life? If I could have seen it earlier maybe I could have stopped it.
