In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

I can't tell you how much your note meant to me today. I will do a much better job with my replies. I have a tendency to get defensive and try to rationalize with her how I wasn't this bad guy..The scary part is when I do stand up to her, she comes back twice as hard. And then I think, man I just got real mad, and she just got madder. So I just back down because it isn't worth it. I promise I will use your rebuttals going forward.

On the italian family side: They all think she is crazy. Her father told her that if she divorces me, he will disown her as a daughter. Normally, that would be good for me. But it just makes her more rebellious. She is in the rebellious teenager phase where she works out constantly, goes out till 2am. Her two best friends have stopped talking to her. Her other friends have as well. Which is why her new support group consists of 1 alcoholic divorced woman, 1 recovered drug addict, the exboyfriend from 20 years ago that doesn't have a job and got fired as a pizza manager for looking at porn. The only time I see her get emotional is when she talks about the friends that now ignore her. No tears for the loss of me..Yet.

She stopped wanting to go to marriage counseling after 4 sessions. I have been going to individual counseling since it started. It does help. But it sounds like you really recommend the DB coaching. I think I will make the call.

She finally started going to counseling a few weeks ago. The only positive was that the counselor suggested going to see a mediator because looks like you want the divorce. She told the counselor to slow down a bit and is considering switching because the counselor was moving way to fast.

I just don't get how people can just get up and leave. There really hasn't been any effort on her part to work the marriage until she figures out if this is right for her. Actually saw her Journal where she wrote to a friend that most times she thinks a divorce is the right thing for her and the boys. This is after she says the best thing about me is that I have been the best father...I cannot and will not be the every other weekend dad. She has this vision of us buying two houses close to each other and I can visit any time I want. I told her this wouldn't be a tv show. It would hurt to much seeing her every day. Anyway, not planning on that becoming a reality anyway.

Your H left for a job. Just don't know people have this in them. It is amazing your H actually thought that you held him back. Seems like all MLC's have that as a common trait. You obviously suffered for a long time. Your stregnth will definitely give me strength. I will not leave and abandon my sons...Thanks again and I hope you have a great weekend.