I've been coming to the realization that if we feel we're not being treated with respect by someone in our life, the BEST thing to do for ourselves, for them, and for the R, is to stand up and call them out on their bad behavior. There's a book called "Love Must Be Tough", and it says sometimes our spouse NEEDS us to call them out on bad behavior. They may initially react with anger, but that's only because they know they're being disrespectful and are being called on it. We DESERVE to be treated with respect at all times. Without respect, there is no R. So my advice to you is to make it crystal clear to your H what you expect of him, and if he's unable to do it, then you're done and you're moving on. If he comes around and decides to really try again, then there you go. If your true sincere and tough stance is met with apathy, dishonesty, or avoidance, then there you go too. There's only so much of this we should tolerate.
I don't know where my sitch is going, but my W's behavior toward me has improved greatly since I got tough and made it clear what I expect from her, even in the face of separation and divorce. I feel better about it, and I swear she appreciated being "scared straight" about what divorce is really going to mean.
