Cake eating WAW in MLC and EA part 2

[CABBR]

Mules,

Thanks. I've actually been repeating "strength and honor" to myself a lot lately. I think I first saw it on Coach's posts. It resonates.

I have not let her bait me, but it's not as if she is trying to do that. Mostly, we don't speak once the kids go to bed. I've been sullen at times - like just around the EA detonation, but other than that I've had a very even keel with my kids and her.

As far as a journal. Oh yeah. I've got about 175 pages so far - around 50 per month since April. It's amazing how much stuff you forget.

In general, my W is a good and loving Mother, but isn't good at enforcing consequences for bad behavior. There are a few minor things in respect to the kids where her judgment could be questioned, but no smoking gun stuff by any means. About the most you could say is that my older s9 is constantly questioning where she is going and why she doesn't want to do stuff with us together.

In so far as ugliness at home or front of the kids - not happening at all.

I'm careful not to divulge much of anything on legal strategy.

Thanks again for checking in.

Cabbr

Hey Cabbr - Unfortunately, once the legal process starts, that's when the baiting starts to become profound. Don't ever give her the chance to call the cops on you. If she gets you mad - find a way to get past it and get out of the room. MY STBX once closed our bedroom door and baited me to try and push past her to get it opened. I knew she had been hanging with a divorced friend who called the cops 7x on her ex. So I went into the closet, got my ipod and then went into our bathroom and locked the door. I ended up staying there for 45 minutes and took a shower. When I came out she was laying on our bed half asleep, so I then left the room. Sorry I am even bringing this stuff up. I would much rather discuss DB techniques and support you that way. It's just that some of what you wrote was very familiar.

And I think the more the process goes, the more bizarre she will get. My STBX parents are convinced that my STBX would take a way out of this if she could, but she is so stubborn and so far into it, she doesn't know what to do or how to do it.

Just keep your eyes and ears open and love your kids. I know you love your W so try to remember that and understand that for whatever reason, she needs to go through this. And she will and you will detach. And she will either figure things out or she won't. But you will be prepared for anything and you will be a better person from what you have learned.

Strength and Honor.

Mules

Thanks Mules.

I suppose anything is possible. But my W has never been one to explode about anything or bait me into a fight. She tends to avoid any type of conflict. She has absolutely no basis for any type of abuse and I don't intend to create one.

We really have little to no interaction once the kids are in bed. She either leaves the house to hang out with her friends or goes in the basement (where she sleeps). When I do speak with her she is making a concerted effort to be civil.

Cabbr