Why don't you let HER ask you? By saving the day, offering before she asks, doing her thinking for her you take away what she needs.. to learn how to ask for help. To reach out without getting an emotional handout.
Your point is well-taken. Let me violate the mind-reading rule. She wouldn't have asked. She might well have wanted to -- I can't say one way or the other -- but she would not have done so. In fact, she said this to Fabulous MC#2 on Tuesday: "I don't feel that I have the right to ask anything of him." Fabulous MC#2 asked me, "Is she correct?" to which I replied, "No, of course not. Doesn't mean I'll do everything she asks, but if there's a legitimate need we ought to be able to make the request." To which WAW declared, "Well that's nice, but no. I've done enough."
At some point -- perhaps -- she'll be confident enough to do so.
But the bottom line is that I wasn't going to let The Boy get disappointed -- and you have to know The Boy to know just how badly disappointed he would have been -- in the name of Divorce-Busting.
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was it a joint birthday party you two planned to have at her abode?
No, the "big" party was all me, at my house, with The Boy's friends. This was just a symbolic, "at Mom's house," observation of the day.
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Why was it so important to pop her "I'm a good mommy" bubble?
You're missing the point. I want her to be a good mother. But -- and maybe it's just because I'm still raw from the past 6 months -- not by taking credit, in the eyes of people who know me, for the things I do. To me that's just wrong. Okay, I was a sh*t as a husband. But no one, not even her most ardent supporter, denies my parenting skills. According to WAW herself, those were the first words out of her parent's mouth: "Oh, that's too bad, he's such a good Dad."
So tell the world I'm a piece of sh*t as a man. I wasn't there for you, I didn't satisfy you in bed, etc. Fine. I can handle it.
