Yeah...what do you do when you order 'tonight's special': the almond crusted mahi mahi...only to be told by the waiter that they're all out and you have to settle for the baked tilapia.
What is a marriage?
Why are we married?
Where does fear or codependency come in?
LL tank being filled or dipped into?
These are a set of difficult questions we must ask ourselves and FIND the answers lest we either languish forever in an unfulfilling relationship or miss the opportunity to maneuver our old one into something better.
Personally, this forum gives everyone the correct idea in the beginning to try and change and save the M. However, there is this pervasive attempt to peruade everyone that the longer you stay, a miraculous change will occur and they come back loving us anew.
(COUGH)
Quote:
Yes, trust is what's really lost, and I don't know that you can ever get it back completely.
You might as well leave the keystone out of that brick arch. Ya know...I guess I can sorta understand the drunken one night stand, but, CHOOSING to continue to see someone whilst married is a different thing.
I agree, above, SD..that is sounds like H is going through motions right now. WHAT...does he say and do INTIMATELY to tell you that this is done...that it's over....that he wants a new start with you? Actions DO speak louder than words.
I still loved my wife when I filed for divorce against her. I just made a decision that I could not live with distrust, infidelity and lying. The pain of leaving..losing my house and 50% of the time with my kids...seemed less than the heart pain of never knowing where my W was or who she was with. It was too emotionally exhausting (not that D has been easier).
SD...no one can tell you what to do..or predict what will happen to your H.
What do YOU want???? If what they say is true..that...WE are in charge of our OWN happiness....what would make you happy?
Again, my only advice is, as long as there is no active infidelity going on and things are workable, there is no rush to make a decision...but..this is going on now almost 3 years, right?
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
