I to am sorry that you are here, but at least you are in the right place. I agree with what K4D and BIGJOHN wrote. You will get a lot of support, advice and opinions on this forum. BUT BUYERS BEWARE. Understand this, everyone here is going through the same thing you are BUT DEFERENT. Each person has their own story and issues they are dealing with and what will work for their STICH may not work for you. I am not saying that the people here are trying to lead you in the wrong direction. I truly believe they all do mean well. But when you are as lost as you are (and I was) it is hard to separate fact from fiction on what may work in your STICH.
If you have not read DB and/or DR you need to. It is the best place to start. It will give you the basic outline on what to do and not to do. It will explain the whys and why nots. After reading these two books you will be better prepared to plan out what you are going to do about your STICH. Then post here with any questions and up-dates that you have had. Read what others have done that worked and the things that did not work. Reading other's STICH will give you an understanding on how they are similar to yours. Once you get a good handle on what you need to do, then you can move forward with a clear frame of mind.
Know this ..... what you are about to do will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. It will take time and patience. You will have setbacks, movement forward, and some times no movement in any directions. You will make mistake, we all have, just do not make the same mistake twice. You may have to change strategies in the middle, be flexible. GET UP ONE MORE TIME THAN YOU GET KNOT DOWN. If you are truly committed to re-building your M you will have a better than even chance. It will work out the way it is supposed too.
I did what I just described and much more. I started out just like you, lost with no since of direction and very little hope. My STICH is deferent, but the same in many respects. What I did worked for me, based on the two people involved in my STICH. After it is all said and done you will have to do the same. You can not make someone happy and you can not change their mind, but you can influence the hell out of them. Your attitude, our demander and actions will determine how much success you will have in your goal with your R and M.
Please take the time to read my letter to Michele. It is in “Another Divorce Busted” titled Patience and Trust (6/26/09)
I truly hope that you will be successful in rebuilding your M and R. If you have any questions please ask. If you need to vent, do it here.
