sgct...Am I sure it's the best path? No...I am sure it is NOT the best path for our family.
I AM SURE that it's the ONLY path in view of STBXW's behavior, lifestyle changes, choices, etc. My STBXW does not love me anymore. She does not want me anymore. She does not value our relationship anymore. She does not wish to be a participating partner anymore. She does not want to live with me anymore. She does not want to talk to me anymore. She does not want to ...uh....get the point?
I met with the family counselor and D6 yesterday. When asked...D6 says she plays with daddy and has fun but balks when asked about STBXW. C says she needs to work with the kids on this...that...kids are afraid to talk positively about the other parent in front of the parent that they are with.
She also began to give some '?clues'. That STBXW is afraid but puts on a tough appearance...that she is afraid that she is 'only a hairdresser' while I have 'prestige, respected in the community and power'. She kept wanting me to try and 'see this'. (25yearsMLC..this is somewhat similar to some of the theories that you posted to me in the past).
The C seemed to imply that STBXW's atty was driving things based on fear. Eg told me, "This is what could happen and I would NEVER let that happen to you. " I confirmed that my L felt he was like this...a litigator...not caring what effects his motions had.
She said that both of us are loving parents and heavily involved with our kids..and..the take home message was: to try and get a settlement done WITH HER and outside of the legal process or we will get screwed. She sympathized (?empathized) with my expression of loss of time with my kids and probably loss of my home. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" was her comment to me.
Absence.
Absence.
Absence.
Absence.
After 3 years...my time is coming. Anyone see the movie I Want to Live with Susan Heywood?
You work hard. You buy a home. You work the soil. You plant trees. You build a family......then....you're told to leave.
I don't think STBXW has a clue about the finances...or..maybe she does and there is a wealthy OM in the wings. On August 10th, if I am ordered out prior to us reaching a settlement, most likely, we will lose the house.
Although I have detached pretty well from STBXW, I think that I have been in a state of denial in a sense...with regards to my kids. I have been with them everyday since all this started. Soon...I won't be. I don't think any extended time...or prep....or books or thoughts....will ameliorate the pain of leaving them. I dread that part of it although I DO look forward to not having STBXW around and hovering, so to speak.
Last night, my son came into my bedroom. I had not seem him that day since he went to a Met game with estranged BIL. I bought a new book set....Percy Jackson and the Olympians. We talked for a bit. I read to him...then..he fell asleep. In spite of all the negative things STBXW did to me...I let him fall asleep and stay put. I woke up early and...I carried him back to his room...only to have him return about 7AM and crawl under the covers. I put my arm around him....kissed him..stroked his brow...told him I love him...and got up to shower to go to work.
There is nothing I can do but put one foot in front of the other and keep going. My time draws nigh.....
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
