desperate...

[1853dave]

Hey Moto,

Find out FOR CERTAIN - and ask a different lawyer (many give you a short free consult if you don't take a lot of thier time) and find out about that RO. It seems to me that if she initiated it, she can withdraw it. I don't see how it can go on for a year (why would they do that?) yet you can have in person drop-offs of you child - without supervision?!?!? If she has a L, you can bet her L is pressing her to keep in in place. That way it is a trap, and all you have to do is innocently step into it and then they finally have "something" on you - as bogus as it is. My W's L was pressing her hard to keep it in place, and my W honestly did not know that she could have withdrawn it at any time - she was under the impression that if it was in place, that God himself could not withdraw it. It was as though it might take an act of congress, when she had the power all along to do something about it. Unfortunately, because of the RO I was under at the time, I could not tell her that! I found her lawyer was not advising her - certainly to her L's benefit. Also, by doing so, she drained our family of all of our savings, and 2nd mortgage on the home. Yeah, you see how helpful the L was to my wife??? Now we're BOTH broke. And, now that the money is all gone, we don't hear from the lawyers anymore. A friend told me this might happen, and he was right. I wonder if your L is taking advantage as well...

So, find out for sure - in fact, if you have an RO against you, you should have court docs in your hand that spell everything out to you about the RO.

Whoa - I just read your message again - the COURT says 8 to 8??? Then guess what - 8 to 8 it is. Otherwise, it is probably a violation of the court order. If your W wants to change that, she can probably do that too. She cannot change the court orders to make it "convenient" to her without submitted for a modification to the order. Many people have been charged with RO violations even though both parties in the RO agreed to meet to talk, or even have consentual sex (!) while the RO was in place! This happens!! Even though you both agree, the court order is the court order, and it is supposed to be followed to the letter.

If your W has a lawyer, I'm sure her L would tell you both the same thing. Besides, if things go bad, I'm sure her L could twist things around to make it look like YOU are at fault here - not her.

Moto, you are not a "butt" for sticking to the court order. The court expects you to do what they order, so stick to it. If your W wants to modify it, fine, I'm sure you'd be supportive - but as of right now, 8 to 8 means exactly that: 8 to 8. You are risking yourself if you do otherwise...

Still, stick to the DB model - be cool, give her space, cooperate, avoid being angry (hard to do sometimes), be friendly, but do NOT get yourself in trouble with the court. You might have to point that out to your W that you've been advised to stick to the order, but you are agreeable to changing the schedule - it just needs to be OK'd by the courts.

Court order modifications happen every day. They are nothing out of the ordinary. No big deal - and if you both agree, I'm sure they'd grant it. It takes only one L to type it up, you probably don't even have to appear - it'll likely be handled by your (or her) L over the phone, and it's done.

I'm no attorney (I'm too honest and ethical - HA!) but I have been through this over the past year myself.

Good Luck, and let us know how it goes.

And hang in there - this is only today. Yes, it stinks, but better times are ahead. They are.