Changing Man

[Gardener]

Serenity has posted song or two in her and Mac-ct's threads. Favorite songs, favorite songwriters crystalize things for me, hold a mirror up to me and give me hope.

So, self-indulgently, I want to share three songs with you (and, therefore, share me) from my favorite singer/songwriter Mary Chapin Carpenter. These are hanging on my bedroom wall.

First one. Where I am, have been struggling, and hopefully starting to move out of:

Closer And Closer Apart
Tell me the truth
Don't ask me to lie
These are the things we say
You don't need proof and I'm not going to try
But I think we have lost our way

You don't own the sun and I can't raise the moon
So now as the darkness falls
Love is so hard won then over too soon
And another cruel ending calls

All I can do is turn now to you
Holding my hand to my heart
All that I know is I'm watching us grow
Closer and closer apart

Now all the kings horses and all the kings men
Wait for their clarion call
Pride hears its voices, and fear wins again
And there's nothing to break our fall

Over and over and over again
The world only spins one way
The past is a distant flicker by now
And a lesson for another day

Now, my sad little boat floats on out to sea
And you're almost out of sight
I'll remember you
Please don't forget me
I whisper with all my might

All I can do is turn now to you
Holding my hand to my heart
All that I know is I'm watching us grow ...
All I can do is turn back to you
And wave with one hand on my heart
All that I know is it's so hard to go ...
[ Closer And Closer Apart Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

Second one. I'm almost there! So close, yet...

Here I Am
I've waited longer for lesser things
But here I am
Who really knows what tomorrow brings
But here I am
Just in case you were wondering
Just in case you lost again
Just in case you run out of friends, here I am

It's so easy to rip and to tear, so here I am
What you need the most
Disappears into thin air, so here I am
Maps and compasses may stay true
It doesn't really matter what you do
I have never forgotten you
Here I am

Some days our reach
Is bound to far exceed our grasp
I gave up hoping long ago
I could fix the past, here I am

Today I called you
For the very first time in a million years
You would never know if I told you so
About these million tears
Life doesn't wave as it's speeding by
Better grab on fast and hold on tight
And don't ever forget to fight this good fight
And here I am
Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
[ Here I Am Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

And, I pray often for this glorious morning to come soon:

Bright Morning Star
Last night I dreamed my head was in a fever
Last night I dreamed it never was so far
To reach a shore of safety and redemption
And to gaze upon a bright morning star

I dreamed I was by friends all but abandoned
I dreamed I was alone but for my scars
And blinded by the tears that fell like water
No more to see my bright morning star

The streets of dreams never looked this lonely
The streets of dreams never felt this hard
I heard my voice barely of a whisper
As the clouds denied a bright morning star

Sometimes this life is no more than a moment
And sometimes the light is lost unto the dark
But courage hears the sound of dawn approaching
And each our own bright morning star

I woke to find every window open
I woke to find the heavy door ajar
And I walked outside and stood upon the hilltop
And gazed once more on a bright morning star

I walked outside and every bird was singing
As I found again my bright morning star
[ Bright Morning Star Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

For Serenity13, for you guys...for me