ALJ, I'm sorry you find yourself here as well but you can/will receive great support if you want it. Keep posting, and if you have a question pose it for advice. You've been asked a couple times about reading DR, have you? I am also separated from my H, five months now, and I'm re-reading DR for the third time again. That's how worthwhile I think the book is.
I read through your posts, and early on you were falling into the trap many of us did, by pursuing our spouses with text messages/etc. It is very hard to u/s how they can turn on us, become coldhearted, selfish S's that only think about themselves. My H is also in his early 30's and my understanding is a MLC can happen at these ages. So, read DR and especially about MLCs and see what you think. If his behaviors fit, I hate to tell you but it could be a LONG time before your H comes out of it. Everyone's different though.
I have to also say that it sounds like there might be an OW in the picture. His comments about finding someone else sound like hints to me. I hope I'm wrong, but just trying to prepare you for some potential bad news. This doesn't mean there is no hope. As you said, you can't control his actions. And that is exactly right! Just keep working yourself (the group classes, some pampering of yourself, changing things up in your home, etc.) and become a lady that your H would be a fool to leave!!
