I'll get back to the session, but I want to document what happened today.
D10 had a sleepover at a friend's house today, and the gf's daughter was also invited. Knowing the dropoff time, I planned to be fashionably late to avoid any drama, etc. Well, she must have had the same idea, and was still there when I showed up.
First time I was that close to her (within smacking distance, I thought to myself), and felt - nothing. No shaking, no stomach knots, no anxiety, no hatred.....nothing. I avoiding having to say anything to her by focusing on the kids, and she left.
The other mom came over and gave me a great big hug, apologized for not realizing the uncomfortable situation I was in. I said no, no big deal, I'm fine. And I meant it. She said that the gf saw me and started to visibly shake.
I can't tell you how lightened I feel! I got into the car with a smile on my face from ear to ear. I think I sighed the rest of the day, like a huge weight has come off!
I think that the momentum is snowballing...I was stalled for a long time, having gone through a deep depression. I was very sick there for a while. Now, I feel confident that I have made it through, gotten well. The co-parenting counselor actually said out loud, after speaking with my IC and evaluating me during our sessions, that I am no longer clinically depressed. And I feel that, too.
