This is big that he took your feedback. You coached him now praise him for the way he handled that. Let him know how much it means to you and you realise that it is probably difficult for him to hear some of these things. You are leading/tough loving him.
Cheers
So, things are going pretty well right now. I haven't directly praised him...I know what you're saying, but he is so contrary that it will likely start another fight. You can't talk to him like a normal person. I've just been trying to be more complimentary of him and his efforts at other things, like cooking. He likes to cook and I've started working fulltime recently. It won't stay this way, but I've had to stay a bit late in the evenings and I have to do some strenuous stuff just for the moment. I have been beat! And he's wanted to cook and stuff and I've tried to be super duper appreciative, etc. Well, I am. lol He seems to respond to that.
The biggie for today was that I sideswiped a pole in a parking garage today. Just the front quarter panel...anyway, i called and told him. There was a long silence. Then he said it was okay, it was an accident. One thing I've always held against him was the time I was in an actual car accident, with another car...and I called him all shaken up and the first thing out of his mouth was "you know you just made my car insurance go up??" Didn't even ask if I was okay. So...silence is a good step for him.
I told him it looked really bad, not that it does so much...but, in a 180, I told him it was awful, so then maybe he'll say it's not so bad. Normally I would say it's not so bad (glass half full) and he'd freak out and say it's awful (family trait). Just as an aside, I've learned that his family likes to wring their hands, hang crepe, and say "ain't it awful." If you DON'T act like that...they think there must not be anything wrong. I despise acting that way, but sometimes...well, when in Rome...
So the car looks SO BAD... lol
Anyway, he's staying off the liquor, and he's been engaged with the family. And we are all doing pretty well. He barely touches me however. Distant in that way. But he's stopped being mean for now.
Just the front quarter panel...anyway, i called and told him. There was a long silence. Then he said it was okay, it was an accident. One thing I've always held against him was the time I was in an actual car accident, with another car...and I called him all shaken up and the first thing out of his mouth was "you know you just made my car insurance go up??" Didn't even ask if I was okay. So...silence is a good step for him.
lol