The thought occured to me today as to how W is going to handle sleeping arrangements for she and I while on we are on vacation next week. Small condo/room means kids will notice if we aren't in the same room and bed. On the way home, I thought about how awkward it would be to be in the same bed as her. Strange and sad that I have almost forgotten what it's like to lay next to her. But, enough of the sadness.
How would the old GIMA have handled this?
How is the new GIMA going to handle it?
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Proactively. I will check up on the room arrangements. Then will talk to W about appearance of us being in sep. bedrooms in front of the kids.
. I agree, buddy.
Gima, I was thinking about the whole "is she inviting me/is she not" from the other day and a good nugget from our MC came to mind. To help prevent mind-reading problems he suggested that whenever your spouse speaks,
"Assume good will."
FWIW...
Later,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Been a busy couple of days at work, but good busy.
W and I will take the kids on a quick vacation on Sunday to Disney. We will stay with my in-laws on Sunday, then at Disney Mon and Tues nights.
When I got home tonight, W followed me down the hall, all the while talking to me about S acting up a little - nothing big. We stopped at the doorway to "my" room, and she stood really close to me - close enough to kiss. Hmmmm. She was upbeat and happy.
After I change clothes, W finds me in the kitchen and says she found a crossword puzzle "she needs MY help with" about Disney. What? She's never done crossword puzzles.
Maybe I'm off base (don't think I am), but W seems to be either (a) excited about Disney (we have always gone a couple of times a year since dating), (b) reaching out to me or (c) both.
Don't think I will broach this subject this close to the trip, but I would love it if she would return to "our" bed. If we are in the same bed on the trip, that probably sets up a better approach for her returning to our bed - maybe she will want to after seeing I'm nice to sleep next to. I'm not angling for ML, but if that happens, I will NOT turn it down, if I can remember how. Right now, I would be thrilled just to roll over in the middle of the night and see her next to me.
Any advice on coaxing W back into our bed? Won't say this is a NEED right now, but its certainly a WANT.
Not sure you should focus on 'coaxing' her back into your bed. In time, if all goes according to plan, it'll happen. Just don't push it because you don't want to scare her away. The sleeping arrangements at Disney should give you some insight on where she really is.
It sounds like things are taking a positive turn. Good luck!
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Oh, wow. I am SO happy for you. This sounds awesome. I'm envious, even!!!
About the bed thing - don't push it. Yes, sleep in the same bed on the trip but do NOT do anything aimed at getting her back in the MBR until AFTER the trip.
Goody goody gumdrops for you!!
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
If the shared bed happens, it happens. Her move. Though I'd be ready with a "Well, you're always welcome to sleep in my arms; all you gotta do is say the word'" or something if she starts dropping blatant hints for you to pick up on like she did Tuesday night.
Happy for your continued progress. You're doing it.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
