Thanks for saying my GF is lucky to have me. I can only hope she thinks the same thing as I'm really falling for her. It is scary to have those feelings again b/c of the potential of being hurt, but I can't live in fear any more and if it doesn't pan out in the end, I'll survive. There are plenty of women out there.
Don't get me wrong, as I'll be very blue, but I won't be ruined forever. So, I'm going to continue to move along slowly in hopes that what I'm feeling, seeing, and reading from her is correct that she's really into me as well.
I'd really like to be at a place where I could tell GF I'm in love w/her and have her say the same thing back to me. So, that's my current goal and I'll just have to sit back and let things unfold if I'm hoping for something to last.
Again, it has been very good for me as this relationship is forcing me to face my ingrained insecurities and fight them head on as I know it is the only way for GF and I to build a healthy, lasting relationship.
Oh, on a side note, I just read today where roughly 98% of the things we humans are "afraid" of happening, never actually happen. So, the fear is created inside ourselves instead of being based in reality. I thought that was very interesting.
Ok, on the the steps...
They're pretty simple, actually, but Jody also pointed out that these are the stages for a "healthy relationship" and that is whether you are trying to save your marriage or start something new:
Stage 1: Diffuse and reduce all negative emotions - resentment, depression, anxiety, fear, lonliness, desperation, insincerity, mistrust, etc.
In this step you are supposed to constantly ask yourself: "Is my action going to reduce or increase negative feelings?"
There is also supposed to be NO EXPECTATIONS in Stage 1.
Again, you should also ask, "Am I maintaining positive actions and feedback?"
Finally, there should be NO MENTION of YOU in Stage 1. Only about the other person.
Stage 2: Friendship
The main question is "How do you feel in each other's presence?"
To be in Stage 2, you should feel the following: mutual, equitable, free, non-edited, natural, no-overanlayzing, and unguarded.
Your role toward the other in this stage is to be the following: affirming and supportive while maintaining the other is your friend who is independent of you.
You and your friend should also feel very safe w/each other.
Finally, you should feel "energized" by the time you have spent together.
