1: to follow in order to overtake, capture, kill, or defeat 2: to find or employ measures to obtain or accomplish : seek (pursue a goal) 3: to proceed along (pursues a northern course) 4 a: to engage in (pursue a hobby) / b: to follow up or proceed with (pursue an argument) 5: to continue to afflict : haunt (was pursued by horrible memories)
To recap. WAW's divorce attorney, after hearing WAW tell The Story, urged her to make an appointment with Fabulous Marriage Counselor. By her own admission, WAW was very reluctant. But -- with no input (or even knowledge of) from me, made the appointment.
We went on Tuesday last.
I was darkly during the session. Very cautious. Very -- how does @Gypsy put it? -- "impeccable" in my words. Was this a divorce lawyer trick? Another gambit by WAW to make me "cooperative" on the alimony distribution?
It went better than I expected. This was WAW's show, so I let WAW run where she wanted to run. I'm in respond mode, not "offer up" mode.
From WAW everal invocations of "I want to get to know him again" and "I want a relationship with him -- don't know where it will go, but I do know it's something I want."
Fabulous MC#2 to SP: What are your goals?
Darkly Darkly. Idea's okay, but it requires new rules, new understandings, boundaries, etc.
We chatted for about half-an-hour after the session -- a 50-minute session, by the way, that ran 2 hours, WAW doing most of the talking. WAW: "I told a couple people I was doing this for the kids' sake." Okay. "But I'm not." Okay. Not sure I understand that. "This is for me." Ah, I see. Fair enough.
Fabulous MC#2 emailed WAW the next day -- was everything okay? She was worried we were fighting. WAW: No, was fine, we were talking, I was very happy about it. [WAW reported this convo to me, btw.]
WAW to Smiley's Person, yesterday (electrons): So?
SP to WAW: "So" what? Did I miss something?
WAW: So what did you think about Fabulous MC#2? I liked her a lot.
SP: I didn't dislike her. I don't have enough information to "like" her. She was certainly better than MC#1.
[You who have been following my misadventure all along may recall that, back in late Feb / early March MC#1 was a disaster for all the reasons MWD cites in her work. Add to that the fact that MC#1 was incredibly hostile towards WAW -- so much so that I wound up defending WAW to MC#1 and "breaking up" with MC#1 because it just made everything worse. It's only a slight exaggeration for effect to say that MC#1 essentially took the position after about 10 minutes of WAW's story of "are you stupid? why are you divorcing him?"]
WAW: Oh.
SP: "Oh" what?
WAW: So I guess you don't want to go back.
SP: Where did I say that in my email? I said I didn't have enough info to like her. I didn't say I don't want to see her. If she helps us communicate better then it's a good idea, full-stop.
WAW: But only for the kids, right?
SP: If I meant "only for the kids" I would have written "only for the kids." But no -- for me. And, I have heard you say, for you.
WAW: Okay, I'll make it.
So that was that, or so I thought.
But no. Darkly darkly.
After that, a couple more texts. She was hung up at work, couldn't get to the store to buy a birthday cake for The Boy's celebration at her house or the little token gift D6 was giving her big brother. Very upset. I'm a terrible mother! I s*ck at this!
No requests, just venting.
SP to WAW: I'm at kind of a natural stopping point in The Work That Won't Go Away. I can go to Big Box Retailer and get Token Gift. If you want, I'll stop at Local Bakery, get a cake, and put it in the fridge in your house. [FYI - WAW insisted I have a key and garage door opener in case of emergency when kids are there.]
WAW: I can't ask you to do that.
SP: You didn't ask -- I offered. The Boy is looking forward to this -- he talked about it last night.
WAW: You're sure it's not an interruption?
SP: It IS an interruption -- but a worthwhile one.
WAW: But you're not doing this for me, right?
SP: Absolutely, for the kids.
And so I did. An hour out of my day, The Boy was happy and that's what counts, and now WAW owes me.
Today. I was researching a new kitchen appliance -- the incumbent appliance, much needed for my work, died an inelegant death early this morning. 14 texts. 6 emails. All pleasant in tone. Invoked some old in-jokes a couple times. Invoked favorite romantic couple movie. "You're great for doing that yesterday." After I mentioned my new appliance search, "Oh! I need one too! Can you tell me which one they recommend?" And I do. "You're The Best for doing that!"
So. Now Smiley's Person isn't so bad. The Mouthpiece is handling the money thing, and I happen to know that the picture WAW's attorney painted for her is missing some colors that The Mouthpiece will fill in at $450/hour.
We agreed with Fabulous MC#2 that Money will be an off-limits topic in the sessions.
I had complained during one of my brief opportunities to speak in Session 1 that mutual FB friends had said WAW claimed to be in charge of The Boy's birthday and wasn't that sweet? To Fabulous MC#2 I said, "Really? My very existence now is so expendable that we'll just take credit for my parenting? And that's okay?"
WAW denied, denied, denied, said Friend is out of mind. She'd never do anything like that. "I'll check my FB page, but there's no way I took credit for what you're doing."
Today. Among the emails was this one. Subject Line: Apologies
Hmmmm. Apparently she did take credit for The Boy's Great Day. Doesn't know why. But that wasn't fair and she's sorry.
