I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[mishka422]

I need to devote that time to myself and give myself that chance I promised.

Bingo! This is the beginning step. Realising that the time you have given to thinking about what he's doing, who he's with, where he is, etc. is only taking time away from you. You are the only person who can improve your life.....SO DO IT!

It's easy to say, I know. Beep, I've been exactly where you are. Holding a bottle of pill in my hand and considering swallowing all of it, getting angry and fed up with the situation, being hurt and feeling lonely, and just not caring anymore what anyone does or says. Yep, been there. I understand. The only thing I can tell you is that the more you concentrate on you and your life and getting to your next goal the easier it will get.

I'm 19 months post bomb, 8 months post D and still have moments like that. But they are usually just that....moments. Healing a broken heart is hard work. It is just that though...W O R K! Get on with the work of living and healing. Do it for you and for the future you.

Frankly, you family situation sounds very toxic to me. I know you feel you need out of there to be able to live again. Are there any friends who would allow you to crash with them for a short amount of time so you can get out of the living situation you are in? Can you find ways to just spend more time out of the house? Walking, riding your bike (did you mean you did get one?), visiting friends.

I'm going to keep thinking about other ideas for you to pull out of this. I have to run right now but I'll be back. Chin up sweetie, you're going to make and be stronger for it!!!