I think now you just need to really back off. Let her figure this out, let her come to you.
She is very confused and she has to figure this out. You have made it clear what you want, so maybe now when you pull back and only deal with her as it relates to the boys and other logistical stuff, that'll be the final straw to wake her butt up that there really could be a life without you.....and how much it would suck.
