back after 10 weeks of recovery and need some help

[iwantittowork]

I really want to see her do well for the family and herself.

I think this is where I stumble as well at times, it's ok to want her to do well for herself, but your still thinking of her as your 'Family' also.

She doesn't want to be part of the family right now, and that thinking leads her to view your actions as pursuing, neediness, etc, and against what your looking for, loving detachment, IMHO.

Thinking about what you want to do and what is good for you helps on the detachment side.

I noticed that when you begin to do this, it first starts as a subtle shift in your thoughts that have profound impact on your actions and what you 'feel' is right to what you 'know' is right for YOU.

I have only recently gotten to this point now, and still stumble over it at times, but keep at it!

Forgive yourself for those things that you 'own' that were problems. Own and acknowledge them yes, but do not let them settle you into a guilt reactive phase were your self esteem tumbles while you try and detach, as that just will not work.