In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

Sandi2: Thanks for do's and don'ts. I have read the DB book. Of your do's and don'ts I am pretty sure I have broken most of those rules so far...Everyday I try to wake up and be happy. Life is about choices. However, somedays it is just hard to "act" like I am happy when I am miserable and it's amazing how kids can pick up on that so easily. However, I have felt a bit stronger the last day. My last letter was sent yesterday listing the 20 things she has said I have done wrong in our marriage. I said with all these things, I don't even think you liked me.... I am promising myself and now you sandi2 that I will not write another one. I have stopped checking phone records or asking who she is going out with a few weeks back. The hardest part is just seeing her everyday, sleeping in same bed. I saw one of her journal entries where she said that I have been controlling our whole marriage and that most times she thinks a divorce is the best option for her and the boys. How can divorce be the best option for our boys. Her biggest issue is that I have been controlling. She says everything has been about "my money." Sure I would complain about the visa bill every few months($4,000 per month). She never wanted to take responsibility(I have asked) for anything with money. She was happy being the stay at home mom. I even told her to get a job several times. Now she thinks her only road to happiness is getting a job and having her own benefits if she decides to divorce. She says that she hasn't grown up. Wants to be able to buy a new floor without asking me. She grew up in an old italitan family where the father paid for everything just so he didn't have to hear her complain. She bascially got everything she wanted. She also has a terrible temper. I suppose this was inevitable. I just never saw it coming. We would argue every 6 months, then it was over the next day. I have never had anything wrong with me in my life. The last year, I had insomnia quite a bit. The harder I tried to kick it, the worse it got. My wife is all about tough love. After the first couple months, the support from her was gone. Every month or so, I would have a bad few days. She got fed up with it as well. Whatever happened to in"sickness and in health". What if I actually had cancer?? Anyway, I am rambling. Thanks for your post and I will do my best to adhere to all the rules....

M 5/94
the bomb: 5/09
s 7
s 9
s 11
status in limbo while wife works on herself.