New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Veronica,

Thanks for checking in. I am OK. I wish I could say I am doing great, but I am just OK. My mind drifts often towards my WAW and our children. The divorce that my W filed back in JAN 09 may be dismissed in the next 3 weeks because nothing has been done about it for the past 6 months. By now, my W has received a notice of the scheduled case dismissal. I understand she now has about 3 weeks to do something about the divorce or else it will be dismissed.

I am stressing about the fact that she may be emboldened by the notice of dismissal and do something about the divorce to make a point. I don't know. I should be stronger and rely on all my emotional gains for the past year of separation. But this morning(3:30 AM), I am stressed out about all the uncertainty and unknown.

I received a very nice email from my W last night telling me she has plans to go to school in the fall. First the email is unusual because I very rarely get emails from her in the past year. So I don't know what to make of it all. I keep reminding myself to apply the DB principle "don't believe a word she says..." after all, she's talked about going back to school after she left and hasn't done anything about it for the past year since she left...

In any case, I am thinking: so what if she goes to school in the fall? That's just fine, isn't it? I should actually rejoice in my W's initiative to also take care of herself...I am thinking aloud here...I need to refrain from mindreading and just refocus on myself whatever happens. But that thought of my W not coming back bothers me...if that's what's going to happen...see, I am already mindreading...Gotta stop it NOW. Gotta refocus. My mind is spinning with all kinds of thoughts. I have to stop it or else I'll go crazy today...

Thanks for checking in Veronica. I hope your day starts better than mine...

JR