Well, today was such an exhauting day at work. This coming month is just filled with projects and deadlines and I feel the pressure building. I am trying to set up a routine for myself and have not, as yet, been able to do that.....but, hey!!! I will just have to keep trying until I figure something out.
So, here is my thought for today.
The more exhausted I get, the less time I have to sort thru my feelings, understand my situation, and maintain patience and a PMA for my situation.
And well.......so I resort to more rooted behaviors.....
behaviors that -in the past few years - have been more innate to me.......of fear, panic and uncertainty of self.
My brain has been on emotional overdrive more so since the second week of work.....just from the stress at work....
I kept thinking about what changed that I have not been thinking Positively and all of a sudden for the past week, I have this feeling of doom.
Nothing has changed, but me........and the lens from which I am viewing my situation.
One adjustment I need to make is that I need to take better care of myself so that I am not this exhausted.
I am working hard......but no down time.......no pampering myself....even with just a meal. Most days I have not been cooking myself a meal or even getting take out... I just sort of eat odds and ends.....a bowl of cereal.....some crackers and juice.....etc...
I noticed a total difference in my day today....and partly, I think it was due to the fact that I went out for dinner last night and ate properly.
In the past, my H usually would suggest a good meal, a glass of wine, a good movie, etc...
Now there is no one to initiate for me.....to do any one or even half a thing........for me.
I really need to start taking better care of myself, I think.
I did better today. I came home and cooked myself a meal. As I sat with work and ate, I still need to improve. Tomorrow, I will eat without any work around me.
I think I have rambled enough for today. I need to focus on keeping myself happy. I guess that is sum of my entry today.
Tomorrow is another day! I can't believe it........this month has seriously flown by!!!!!
