Divorce not busted 2

[Orich]

You said it.

[robx]

Well, tonight is definately not the night! I got home from the gym and barely got a hello. She was getting ready for bed. I figured why not turn in early, too? As soon as I came into the bedroom and began to change, she asked why I was coming to bed and not staying up. I asked if she wanted me to wait a bit until she falls asleep (I snore). She said no, just that I usually don't go to bed before 10. I took the hint, and am now sitting on the couch watching TV.
Oh well. Probably better, because now I have the memories of the old days in my head eight now!

Well I'll say UGGH!

But for another reason entirely.

You let your wife determine when you go to bed.

I'll say it another way...

You let your wife determine when you go to bed?!

Being a man means being honest.

Keeping thing inside of you and not letting her know what you want or just not doing what you want clearly communicates that she is in charge, some women get this status in their relationships and they clearly don't like it although they exercise their control very well.

Here's what I would have done regardless of rejection (p.s. I read someone who just posted that rejection hurts but when you don't try at all, what hurts most is the 100% chance of rejection you placed on yourself, no one else did this).

When she asked why you were going to bed so early and not staying up, either of these would have been applicable and honest:

1. I'm going to bed because I feel like going to bed early
or ...

2. I'm turning in early tonight because I'm horny and I feel like being physical/sexual with my beautiful wife and I'm hoping I can convince her that she might enjoy it too (wink! wink!) and I would have said it with a devilish smile on my face. If she said no, you would have said, "that's fine, can't blame a guy for trying, I only think about it 90 seconds of every minute LOL!" and then you would proceed to go to bed.

By letting her tell you indirectly when you can go to bed, you pretty much communicate to her that you are looking for her approval to do this. Indirectly you are saying "Is it ok if I go to bed at the same time you do?", it exhibits major wussy like behavior, kills attraction, respect, love and a whack of anything else that is good between the two of you.

Great you can take hints.

Can you give them back?

Start doing more of what you want to do.
Start being honest with her & yourself about your intentions.

And now you're up with these "old memories" in your head, you're generating them in your head right now, you can't control her but you do control you.

If you're still up reading this, take a hint, go to bed and we'll talk to you in the morning.

[sandi2]

She wasn't ready to have sex and she freaked when she saw you going to bed also. I think that a lot of women are willing to try to stay in a M and to work at it, but for some, they can't get their emotions to follow as easy. It depends on the individual person, I would think. Doesn't mean she won't get to the place that she's ready to ML, but it takes her a little longer than you. Maybe you did not "intend" to do that, but you've already talked about how long it's been and that you are past "ready". Don't you think she knows that? But, I agree that she should not dictate when you can go to bed. Next time, crawl into bed as if she had not said anything and tell her you hope your snoring doesn't keep her awake b/c you're beat!

[sandi2]

Do you know one of the ways to cause your W to want to have sex with you? Act as if you aren't interested.

[givingitmyall]

Do you know one of the ways to cause your W to want to have sex with you? Act as if you aren't interested.

Man am I getting good at this!! But, so is she.

[sandi2]

I think they call it playing hard to get. But now somebody needs to catch somebody sometimes.

[givingitmyall]

Yeah, Sandi, I know. I can catch her, I just think she's gonna scream to let her go.

I know, if I don't try, I will not know.

I am not as worried about the rejection (God knows I had enough of that when we were "happy") as I am undoing a lot of the good I have done in her eyes over the last few months.

[sandi2]

Yeah, I'm just teasing you guys. You will know when she's ready.

[givingitmyall]

I know Sandi.

My hijacking posts (sorry O) were a little tongue in cheek too. But, there's a little truth in the humor.

[Dia]

*laughing and continuing the hijack*

Ok, so how about some advice from you men about how to get my H to want to sleep with me?? Ok - he's already admitted that he wants to, so how do I get him to actually do it?