We didn't fight much, either, until I started to get the spew and knew something was wrong.
In retrospect, I wish there had been a middle ground. I think we needed to fight some. H had some real dramatics and I think if I had been more open, there would have been less need for them.
Trusting, I found it interesting that your H admitted that he was unhappy w/OW. I believe that if he could say that to you, he may wind up saying more at some point. Just be kind.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D