well, i have not given her any talk about "us" at all. Im still treating her like I have things to do and have my own life. Im nice to her but in no way do I show her Im waiting for her
what "us" is there to talk about. she moved out. seems to me from your description of your interactions with her that she wants to relive life before the kids.
i'd dare you to try and get some action but keep your heart out of it till she is willing to make some sort of commitment.
what "us" is there to talk about. she moved out. seems to me from your description of your interactions with her that she wants to relive life before the kids.
i'd dare you to try and get some action but keep your heart out of it till she is willing to make some sort of commitment.
Im not letting her do anything else. Yet again Im lost as to what you are trying to say... im simply showing what she is doing and how im not giving into her games looking for me to ask her back.
Im showing her I can still interact with her but im not showing her any effection but rather im doing my own thing and i have no on going interst to "win her back" simple as that. as far as i see im following DB suggestions
infact IDK if i would could take her back. I feel I need to decide that after we get to that point if we get to that point. She has done alot of harm to me and the kids in her selfish choices.
She has never admited to having an affair (she has admited to doing things??? that are not right), she has her owen APT. that she got right after moving out. Odd enough she had this female roomate right from the start who moved out of her exboyfriends place.. (I figured this female roomate had a hand in convincing my wife to leave.)
her roomate has her male friends over all the time and they are all friends now( these are all new friends since last winter) the one guy I have "heard through people" my wife han an affair with even though he a GF this whole time.(again IDK its talk)
I truily know I can get past the lying and stealing but it will take time and has to be shown from her she is past that.
No, I dont think she has really played love games befor.
no jail time at all, we were fine. she was slightly more distant but not much.... we still spent alot of time togeather. got her to ride on the motorcycle and we were just having fun. I treated her the same as i always had. when she told me about the money I didnt say much i was shocked but I was like ok? well you can tell my family but yes i will stick by you through this.
she sent me more texts one of them she asked if I would give her a ride on the bike again.
her mom also came over for a suprise visit (she has NEVER donr that even when the wife was still here) she said the wife wont talk to her and is really distant. she wanted to know what was going on. i told her IDK either. told her how lately she was overly friendly but IDK y.. and then we taked mostly about the kids
Thats good, if your MIL is trying to get the story from you, you should oblige her! I think that thats definately a positive! You might even get her to put in some good words for you! Even if they arent talking right now, Im sure that her mom wont give up trying to reach her, maybe she has too much pride to admit to even her mom that she royally screwed up.
Last edited by bluerain; 07/30/0905:17 AM.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
well nothing too new has happened, she still texts me daily. normal junk happening with her its getting very old!
so on friday she picked up the girls (i had her get my son from daycare on her way here) she got here and the girls and i were outside with our neibors (they were talking to us and planted a tree to replace the one we both had cut down)
she looked right at me made eye contact and smiled befor pulling into the driveway. she pointed at the dent she got from the previous weekend and told us the insurance was going to send out an adjuster and so on.
so the girls got into the van and I said hi to my son but he was more interested in the dvd he was watching so I said good bye to the girls and turned to my wife asked her if she can get me my sons clothes and some toys from her place. she said ok and still smiling at me. we mentioned her mom stopped by the house and I looked and my wife and she had no reaction to it she said yeah her mom had to come out this way for pool supplies. and I asked if she knew her mom stopped by then and she said no. but had no surprise to her face!
(I found this odd because she usually complains when her mom gets involved, second if my wife put her up to it like it seems i cant see that since her mom and her are not that close to do a planned thing like that they fight so much)
I told her have a good weekend and i would see her sunday. as i turned to walk away she asked me why I dont talk to her and why im being mean!
I stopped and said huh? what do you mean? im not mean. she said I dont talk to her or return her texts! I said well I do and I mentioned I even wrote back to her the night befor when she sent one at 11:00 at night. and she said well it took me along time to write her back I explained I was buisy... so she went on to talk about her week. I took it she was trying to get me to look at her so I said I liked her hair and I kept it short and simple. I then told her again to have fun and I walked away.
She seems so confused I dont get it. it is almost getting very anoying. she is the one who left not me! why do i need to give her attention now??
sunday was very similar to friday, she texted me like always kinda BS stuff and when I picked up the kids she did the same as friday claiming i dont talk to her anymore, we need to catch up some time... she wanted a hug again which she turned into another tight hug where she didnt let go for awhile. then she texted me right after i left and said it was nice seeing me simle and thanks for the nice hug.
I just dont understand the signals she gives me. it's like she just cant decided if she wants a relationship or not. it's hard on me but i dont/havent given any sighns i'm interested in anything more than moving on with my life.
monday was a little harder for me IDK why but it was and i had my consolor meeting which sorta helps.
well Im still open to ideas, I dont know if what im doing is working or if im just letting her have what she wants.. I'm trying to be firm but Im not sure if i have the right take on how im doing good DB
