back after 10 weeks of recovery and need some help

[Doingitright]

I own being a jerk and at times mean for quite a few years of our marriage. No hitting or abuse. In most cases just arguments or avoiding them. I stopped going to church with my family and have since changed but I own that as well.

I put work first for quite some time thinking I would get ahead at work and make more money and that would transfer to the family being more happy. NOT. I didn't get more money in relation to the work put in. And the family suffered.

But worst of all to my wife I spied on her when we were going down divorce lane. I found out about her EA and it trying to move to a PA. She hates me for that. I own it, that boulder around my neck.

I own that history of which I cannot change. I can only change going forward and create better times now that will be better histories to look at later.