So here's something interesting. Last Friday I went to get coffee with a friend of a very good girlfrined. I'll call this friend of a friend Mallory. Mallory is married, almost 23 years now. She has three kids from 16 to 11. Her husband, I'll call John, is a doctor here in town. They live in a very nice neighborhood and Mallory does not work.
Six years ago John comes home and says "I'm not happy. I'm not sure what I want....no I don't know if I want a divorce, I think we just need to separate for now." But he doesn't move out. Things continue "as normal" and no one knows but the two of them how he's feeling. The kids have no idea.
One day, he goes out of town for the day. Mallory goes to his office and goes through his things....looking for clues. She finds documents that he's been traveling with a resident doctor that she's heard him talk about highly, and Mallory has meet this woman and her husband on a weekend convention out of town. What's more, she finds documents that he's actually bought another home about one mile from their current home.
She's flabbergasted.
She confronts him. And says "Since you have somewhere to go, go." And kicks him out.
They managed to save their marriage after about 6 or 8 months. She said the kids were a wreck while John was gone and were elated to learn he was coming home.
The OW went back to her husband, but Mallory isn't sure if they are still married, she hears that they are.
Mallory said her game plan was simple: She was always nice to him and fair. The one things she was steadfast on....he couldn't come to the house to see the kids unless it was his night. She wanted him to see what divorce would be like and the kids were pretty pissed at him so this was easier. She said if the kids had said "Please let us see Daddy" she would have let that happen. But they didn't.
She actually started dating someone else and that set John off. But at that point she truly thought all was over and lost. Oddly for her that helped to save the relationship and she said something expected here though....it helped to save the marriage because she believes because she dated someone else, it seemed to help with John's guilt.....sort of like "Ok, we're even, now we can work this out." Never would have thought of it that way, but it worked for them.
The best part is she said that her marriage is stronger nowt then ever before. Would she want to do that again....not really, BUT she does believe if it hadn't happened they would be roommates. Now there's appreciation and passion.
