back after 10 weeks of recovery and need some help

[Doingitright]

You are right. I told W to go to school and I will watch the kids. The plan was for us to get out of debt once she graduated and got a job (100%) placement in her field right now from her school. Now it is not going to benefit all of the family only her. It just sucks, you know “the best laid plans".

I hate my job (been doing it 20 yrs) so the plan was I would quit when W was gainfully employed. I could then swap to another job that is waiting but I wouldn't have health benefits for 90 days. With plan A we had continuity of health coverage. With little ones and W & my health we need coverage for medications and regular specialist DR visits.

You are right about what do I want for me. That was what I wanted. Now I have to think it through a different way. I guess that is the rub. Now I am worried what kind of job I take. If I travel that could come back and bite me for custody battles. This just throws so much dust up in the air I cannot see clearly. I am a planner and list guy. Give me project plans or give me death. Give me a list to check off and I am happy. With this happening I cannot plan. And what plans I had just got balled up and now I am throwing them at the waste basket of life trying to get one more ounce of enjoyment out of them by making a basket. But the darn basket keeps moving. Even my analogies get side tracked.

I am worried about the kids and the finances if she pulls the trigger. She just doesn’t get it that our debit gets split 50/50. She won’t end up with enough coin to get a down payment on an apartment or even have a credit card. We end up upside down. And of course I get to pay child support and alimony so she makes out on that one. W gain is my loss.

I am trying to keep a positive outlook. But I went through this 3 months ago and got back on the M wagon for a 12 week ride. Now I am off the M wagon but it left me in the desert.