WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[MrBond]

"She talked about how I made her feel like hired help in the past (i.e. cook, cleaning lady, laundry, etc) and that I didn't make her feel special nor did I make her feel like I wanted to help her. She said even now when she comments about something around the house, I get all angry and defensive and make her feel bad."

REally? Still after all this she's still blaming you for that?

"She said the prior weekend she was frustrated that she had to come over to help with the weeding."

If I recall, you asked her and she offered. You didn't "force" her to do it. Plus why is it such a big deal that you didn't know what a weed was? She could have just told you. Instead she held in that "hurt" and it came out as resentment. Give me a break!

You've got to break her control on you or you'll never get this D busted.

[MrBond]

"She talked about how I made her feel like hired help in the past (i.e. cook, cleaning lady, laundry, etc) and that I didn't make her feel special nor did I make her feel like I wanted to help her. She said even now when she comments about something around the house, I get all angry and defensive and make her feel bad."

REally? Still after all this she's still blaming you for that?

"She said the prior weekend she was frustrated that she had to come over to help with the weeding."

If I recall, you asked her and she offered. You didn't "force" her to do it. Plus why is it such a big deal that you didn't know what a weed was? She could have just told you. Instead she held in that "hurt" and it came out as resentment. Give me a break!

You've got to break her control on you or you'll never get this D busted.

[PMA_Baby!]

I agree w Stuck. She is still just playing the blame game and trying to justify her actions for wanting to leave.

You, unfortunately, keep on supporting her not taking responsibility by being at her beck and call.

Based on your last couple post, I wasnt sure if you were trying to get laid or wanting your wife back. Because sleeping with her right now would drive her away even farther. You need to play hard to get. She needs to chase you not you chase her.
How come you can't see this game and everyone can?

Good luck w your job? I doubt at work if something doesnt work you keep on doing it.

I just dont get it.

Love is BLIND!!!

[Stronger]

I have to disagree with PMA_Baby and on the fence with Stuck.

I think she was bringing up things that really did bug her in the past about you....I could be wrong, I wasn't there, but I got the impression she was truly trying to tell you This Bugged the Hell Out of Me.....I need to know this won't happen again and that I can talk to you.

The weeds....ok that's weird. (I don't know crap about a garden either....To this day my mother still brings up the fact that she sent me out to the garden to get a cucumber and I came back with a zucchini.)

I don't know. Maybe she still wants a divorce and she's just trying to be nice knowing how hard all of this is on you. But I just don't see it that way....I think she's starting to try. And she's being more physical with you. Always a good sign. I don't think a woman could be physical with someone she doesn't even like. And it sounds to me she's trying to tell you what her issues were....why bother if she just wants to divorce you?

And do you really think love is blind? I don't. I think love is seeing everything but being ok with it.

[confusedinpa]

I see both sides of the discussion. It is very weird and confusing.

I wound up calling the boys tonite as it was getting late. I had thought it would be late as my 7 year old had soccer tonite, but didn't want to miss the chance to talk to my boys.

She picked up and said that they were still watching their show. I tried to say I would just call back later, but she said she started talking about her day and various other things before she put the boys on.

I talked to the boys and then hung up.

So it is now day 2 being away from home.....

[MrBond]

How is the job going?

[confusedinpa]

How is the job going?

It's really busy but I knew that going into it as it is very similar to the other companies that I had joined in myh career. That was a big reason why I got the job so quickly as many companies have the same issues that need to be fixed. While it's a lot of work, it is fun in my mind.

Thanks for asking.

[Stronger]

Well busy at work is better than bored, or so they say!

I'm glad things are going well for you otherwise.

[confusedinpa]

I did wind up talking to my wife later that nite.

She talked about how my 7 year old really had a hard time on Sunday nite. She said he asked her if she was looking for a new husband.

I was really shocked/surprised that my 7 year old asked something like that.

She said she told him no that she and daddy were still working on somethings.

Perhaps it was wrong but I then asked if that was really true because if we were working on somethings, I should know.

She started dancing around the question but said that she's not looking for a new husband nor does she know if she will get married again. She said she didn't miss me (big surprise considering how much we still interact/see each other) and is neither look forward nor dreading seeing me again.

She did say that she had fun last Sunday when we were playful while clothes shopping. Although she said she felt bad about sending me the pictures.

We chatted about various other things before I ended the call as it was getting late.

This morning she text me that my 7 year old has a fever. Major bummer. I hope he feels better soon. I asked her to give him a hug and kiss for me.

[confusedinpa]

And do you really think love is blind? I don't. I think love is seeing everything but being ok with it.

I really like what you wrote here. Very deep!