SB, I feel so bad for you. You are in a terrible situation and I am wondering if it wouldn't be best for you to just leave now, stay with your folks or a friend till you get your place and then go back for your things. You can say that you just need time to think about things. Then, get someone to go with you for moral support to go and move your stuff.
If not, I would begin to answer emails to start a paper trail showing that you VERY STRONGLY REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS LIFESTYLE ANY LONGER! Write in them that you always hated it and regret ever going along to get along with your h. I think you must do this now because you will be viewed by the court as a willing participant. And you were. Unfortunately, nobody's hands are clean in this now.
State that you feel it was a very risky and unhealthy way to live and that it was bad for the kids. And if you think they don't know, think again. I don't know why parents think kids are stupid. I have a friend whose parents indulged in this and she and her brother knew. Kids know everything.
