back after 10 weeks of recovery and need some help

[iwantittowork]

I was reading a bit on your sitch, especially the last few posts, and I just want to say, it sounds like you waiting to just react to what your W is doing. That's not a good place to be, I know, I did that for a while. I truly believe you need to get out in front of yourself, and not your W. What do you want to do? What are your boundaries? What is acceptable to you? Notice those questions are in reference to you, not your W?

Where do you draw the line between understanding and being a door mat?

I think everyone has to find the line that they are willing to 'draw in the sand' so to speak, or a 'boundary' in other words. What feels right to YOU, what do YOU want.

Is it controlling to not want to do a loan at a time when we will be getting separated?
Is it controlling to say no we cant swing this now due to all that is up in the air?

Neither of those is controlling if it's what YOU decide is what is right for YOU in those situations.

It IS controlling, if you use that as a way to get back at your W, or if you do those things against what you want in hopes that your W will react to you in a certain way.

My feeling is your letting your W run the show, and your show. Time to see what 62906 wants for his life, and start doing that!