You got it exactly right about the validation... This isn't just you being a jealous H, or partner. This is a R (no matter how close, etc...) that is taking away from the mending of yours, and her attention gets diverted, and she gets "saved" by someone else, not you. (kind of run on sentences... I've had a pre-happy hour glass of wine, sorry)
That's EXACTLY right! My sister was telling me the same thing: it doesn't really matter how close or not close that R is, it's INTERFERING! I think I need some wine too!! LOL! And it's 11:30am...
Originally Posted By: mindblank
I think I told you this before. You need something to shake her up. How about an invitation into the home of a f*cked up divorced family, with kids being fought over, a new boyfriend/girlfriend getting YOUR time w/your kids, an atmosphere she doesn't approve of, etc...?? I'd like her to talk to my D18. Her Dad and I divorced when she was barely two, and his house was always chaos and destruction. She'd cry and cling to mine and my H's legs when she'd have to go... And, believe it or not, we co-parented beautifully until my H came in the picture. He couldn't handle another male in her life.
She's kind of had that over the weekend. Being lectured by StepS13's dad about not providing a stable home for him and fighting over where he should live. W proposed that he live with me, since the better school is in the town where I work. That didn't go over too well with his dad of course!
Originally Posted By: mindblank
She sounds too needy, self deprecating, and really, not at all attractive. I'm wondering if you're "there" yet.
She's always been VERY self-depreciating! She has terribly low self-esteem. And I am getting to the point where I really feel the one and only reason I am still holding on in silence is the kids. Even if we still manage to get back together, it's gonna take a long time for me to feel the same way for her as I did 2 years ago.
