Ahhh, sometimes I wonder if it would be so much easier to just move on from our WAS. It gets to be so overbearing at times. But then I wonder if its just all relationships.
So last night H and I were suppose to go see a movie. And as expected he didn't come through. But I felt he would do exactly what he did. During the day I told him the movie was at 7:20. So after work I went and got the tickets and did not call him at all. i'm trying to make a change in the way we interact. Normally I would call adn ask where he was, get upset that he's late, and he would try to reschedule to make it convenient for him, etc. So I just didn't call him to check in. The polite thing would have been for him to let me know if he couldn't make it, right? I had planned on going alone anyway. Once I saw it was late, I called a friend and she went with me. Still had not received a call from H until an after the movie was to start. I just let the phone ring as he called about 5 times. After the movie, I called him back and I just acted so casual it was great for me. I could tell he was surprised b/c he knew he did wrong. there he was saying but I didn't call him... crazy right. I just told him I went with my friend adn how funny the movie was. Inwardly I was mad though but at the same time I went and had a good time. I swear thsi man knows exactly what he's doing and I think he does it on purpose!!! At this point I'm feeling like I don't want him or ow to steal my joy and he is trying to work my nerves. He says that he will make it up next week and he will make the arrangements, lets see about that. He insisted on coming over, i told him I was goign to get some dinner and he said oh wait for me we'll go together, again the old vickyd would have done exactly that, I told him he could just pick up dinner for me and bring it - let him do some work.
But people, the guy drives me crazy. I feel all these little inconsiderate gestures have all added up to his big A. i really don't know sometimes if I can handle this although I am handling it. I'm trying to be different though and not tolerate his crap or have it all upset my world. When h and I separated it was on account of the same thing like last night. We had plans to go out, he went to babysit his son without even calling me, showed up like 5hrs later expecting us to still go out. I blew up rightfully. But I want to handle things differnt htis time. I know I'm entitled to my feelings but I'm feeling all these "feelings" that I feel I must express just won't get us anywhere. I often wished I could redo that argument we had when we sep. - I feel now the better thing to do was to not sit at home those 5hrs. I should have gone out had a good time and showed that I will not tolerate the disrespect. I'm trying to do that now. Funny thing is that I must admit that H was inconsiderate with time from when we were dating - but it all added up to big inconsideration and disrespect.
