What to do when H doesn't contact?

[beepee]

Hi Lost:

No I didn't take it the way you're thinking at all! I hope I didn't come across as mean, I just wanted you to change your perspective on your age and being able to go out. There's so much you can do. I really suggest you join a group pertaining to something you're interested in, you'll meet people and have so much fun doing what you love!!

I'm just really scared now that it has been too long and too many lies that he told for him to want to come back.

I understand how you feel. I don't think my H will ever come back to me either. And I've have been taking this time apart from his to change my perspectives on our relationship, Do I really want to be with a man who has done this to me? A man who ignores me, wouldn't visit me in the hospital when I was suicidal, and is able to just up and walk out on me as if I was nothing to him? I miss him of course, as you do too. But think about it, do you REALLY want to be with him after what he's done? I'm not saying to give up hope, AT ALL. I would never tell anyone that, I just want you to take a hard look at your situation and at your relationship with this man, who has clearly become a stranger.

Take this time you have to better yourself. Get active, get back to doing hobbies you may have not gotten around to doing when he was around, get back in touch with neglected friends, have fun with your kids!!

What would you do if your H showed up at your doorstep tomorrow and asked to come back. Would you take him back, after what he did? Or would you want more time to figure out what exactly it is you want out of the relationship? I know if my H ever came back to me, today, tomorrow, in a month. I most likely wouldnt take him back..yet. Because I know there's a lot of work I need to do with myself, I wasn't happy within, I expected him to make me happy and I never ever want to go through that again. I never want to place that burden on anyone. I am responsible for my own happiness and taking this time to reach that point is vital to my success in any future relationship. It will take a long time, and that's why this separation is good. I think it's good for you too. It may not feel like it, but try and envision yourself in a place where you're blissfully happy, inside, and no one, not even your H, can ever take that away from you. And because you're happy within, you don't need him and you won't. If he wants to come back, great. If he doesn't, you still have your happiness and you can make it without him.

Hope I'm not rambling!! Trying to get you to see that there are positives in this sitch and you CAN and WILL BE OK!! You just have to work really hard on it!