Still smoldering......

[blindsided1]

It's amazing how much better I feel each day that goes by without contact with H. I just feel more relaxed and at peace. This is a good thing. I can't say that being without my H is what I initially wanted. But, now, I know that maybe, just maybe...it's what I needed to get back to who I was. I have been doing a lot of reading on codependancy and narcissism. It has helped quite a lot. I understand better. And, the idea that H's parents and brother are being treated poorly by him and always have....listening to BIL tell me how H made their lives hell when they were growing up...how much strain he put on their family and how they continued to be there for him and love him through it all...it has made me see this on not such a personal level. He isn't doing this to me because I'M not good enough or because I deserve it or I'm a bad person...this is who he is...this is who he has always been and most likely...this is who he will always be....even with OW and their fake family.

So, enough Debbie Downer talk...I had a weird dream last night that I cut my hair myself and I did such a horrible job that I ended up with a mullet....WTH?

Have a good day.