W is having Affair -- may leave soon -- thread 2

[SavingMyMarriage]

Back in late March or early April I started DBing and was talking to a DB coach. I stopped physical contact, saying ILY, and spent some time away from the house (did things on my own to start basically getting a life)... I stayed away from the R talks, etc. The above helped a little...

When I joined the board here, I also started to slowly detach. Before I went to Europe I stopped the phone calls, E-mails, etc. I basically left her alone and gave her space. While in Europe I did the same -- didn't buy her gifts or anything like that...did stuff on my own when she was away with her classmates visiting various businesses. It was awkward, but I did it. I made a few mistakes, but I stayed away from the pleading, begging, etc.

My DB coach for the most part thought it would be appropriate to ask her to go to dinner and do other things, but if my W said no, I should go by myself and then tell her what a great time I had... makes sense. So I did that a few times. Everything kind of fell apart though in early June when she said she was going with OM to Wash DC. I wouldn't say I was the model DBer in April & May, but it was pretty close to what my DB coach and some on this board have suggested... in hindsight, my W probably felt that I was pursuing her, which didn't help...